Big ego equals bad relationships

ego

ˈiːɡəʊ,ˈɛ-/

noun

a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.”he needed a boost to his ego”

synonyms: self-esteem, self-importance, self-worth, self-respect, self-conceit, self-image, self-confidence; amour propre”he needed a boost to his ego”

Developing relationships whether online or offline carry a fine balance of give and take. Good relationships are symbiotic with both parties deriving some form of value. All to often, the ego becomes a disruptive force, resulting in a failed relationship. Here are five things to consider.

1. Put others first

In all relationships you develop with others, make a point of always putting the other person first.

From the very first time you meet someone, ask questions about them and show genuine interest in their life, their hopes and aspirations, their hobbies and interests, their dreams and goals, their values, family and career.

Do not butt in and start talking about yourself. In How to win friends and influence people Dale Carnegie writes that the best conversationalists do not talk much. They ask questions and listen.

If you hope to build credibility online and encourage people to connect with you and remember you, putting them first at all times will make a big impression.

2. Always reciprocate

If anyone does anything for you, always remember to reciprocate in some form or other. If you are invited to a cocktail party, a person’s home for dinner, a business lunch or a cup of coffee, never forget to return the gesture.

Better still, be the first to invite others to your business and personal events. Whether a personal or business associate make sure there is no hidden agenda. If you are planning on developing a genuine relationship, then it is imperative that you do not start talking about yourself or your business and products.

When reciprocating a simple thank you note, conveyed sincerely may be all that is required. Anything that is unexpected by the recipient will be welcomed warmly.

If you are connected and are interacting with people online and hope to develop a stronger and trustworthy relationship, consider the following. If someone sends you value-adding content, thank them and attempt to do the same for them. If someone shares, likes or comments on content you have published or posted on your blog or social media platforms, be sure to acknowledge them. This could simply be a Like if they retweeted you or shared a post on LinkedIn. If they have commented on one of your posts, you may want to reply.

3. Be genuine and empathetic

I constantly advise people to always be genuine. If you have a hidden agenda, it is only a matter of time before you are caught out. This can be as a result of something you say that contradicts something you said or did in the past.

If you are developing online relationships and nurturing prospects, be sure to stick to your promises and never deviate. If you invite people to subscribe to your email or connect on social media and promise to share content which adds value to their lives or job then this is all you must do. If you stick to this, you will engender trust.

4. We are all equal

You will never be bigger and better than anyone else in this world and never forget it. You are no better than anyone else and no one is better than you. Whether a beggar or a multi-billionaire we were created equal and should treat each other as such.

Whether in your private or business life there is no defining moment where you should start behaving differently to others because of a change in your social or financial status.

Some of the richest and most successful people on the planet still treat others as equals. Remember we leave our lives exactly the same as when when started our lives.

Unfortunately people do get affected by status. This is quite apparent on social media. The size of egos appear to be directly proportional with follower numbers.

5. Be humble and considerate

For the ego-centric person, being humble and considerate can be a mean feat. If you come across as genuinely humble and considerate to others, people will automatically gravitate towards you. No-one like a self-centred, braggart who constantly talks about themselves.

In the business world and for those who are developing long term mutually beneficial relationships, being humble, considerate and conducting yourself with humility cannot go unnoticed. By doing so, you will develop long-lasting relationships that are meaningful and mutually beneficial.